its amazaing to see things, the same things that you ones hold dear, reduce to just things. i used to put so much importance on these- material stuff. its just funny how things (priorities) change these days. guess when you've seen the finish line you muster all your strenght to get to it. so much have change in my priorities. have i finally died to myself?
sitting down i thought: "man, you have more time to relax than when you were working." yeah i find it a bit weird that i get to sit down and actually relax compared to when i still have all the money to buy myself relaxation. odd!
why spend so much for relaxation? well you wanna feel like you were actually existing... oh my so called life - call boy
its almost a miracle when you find things that you thought you lost because you gave them up. there is truth in the words "what you lose for Me, you'll have." i have turn my back on so many things in faith. it was a journey and not an easy one at that. but things are proving to be worthwhile. oh yeah definitely.
right now i cant think of that pivotal moment. there has to be. but i cant pinpoint that time when i made a decision. the decision have that step of faith. there cant be none. because for something good like this a sacrifice has to be made.
Wednesday, July 26, 2006
Monday, July 24, 2006
july21st???
it came and passed me by and i didnt even realized it. the 3rd year mark. im single! and i am growing UP... FINALLY
Sunday, July 16, 2006
What is HIV? HIV
(human immunodeficiency virus) is the virus that causes AIDS. This virus is passed from one person to another through blood-to-blood and sexual contact. In addition, infected pregnant women can pass HIV to their baby during pregnancy or delivery, as well as through breast-feeding. People with HIV have what is called HIV infection. Most of these people will develop AIDS as a result of their HIV infection.
What is AIDS? What causes AIDS?
AIDS stands for acquired immunodeficiency syndrome. An HIV-infected person receives a diagnosis of AIDS after developing one of the CDC-defined AIDS indicator illnesses, (opportunistic infection.) An HIV-positive person who has not had any serious illnesses also can receive an AIDS diagnosis on the basis of certain blood tests (CD4+ counts). A CD4+ count of less than 200 indicates a severely damaged immune system and an AIDS diagnosis.
A positive HIV test result does not mean that a person has AIDS. A diagnosis of AIDS is made by a physician using certain clinical criteria.
Infection with HIV can weaken the immune system to the point that it has difficulty fighting off certain infections. These types of infections are known as "opportunistic" infections because they take the opportunity a weakened immune system gives to cause illness.
Many of the infections that cause problems or may be life threatening for people with AIDS, are usually controlled by a healthy immune system. The immune system of a person with AIDS is weakened to the point that medical intervention may be necessary to prevent or treat serious illness.
Today there are medical treatments that can slow down the rate at which HIV weakens the immune system. There are other treatments that can prevent or cure some of the illnesses associated with AIDS. As with other diseases, early detection offers more options for treatment and preventative care.
Also, once a person is diagnosed with AIDS, they will always be considered to have AIDS, regardless of clinical changes later on. For example, if a person has HIV and a CD4 count below 200, they are considered to have AIDS. If their CD4 count later goes back to above 200, they are still considered to have AIDS.
How can I tell if I'm infected with HIV? What are the symptoms?
The only way to determine for sure whether you are infected is to be tested for HIV infection. You cannot rely on symptoms to know whether or not you are infected with HIV. Many people who are infected with HIV do not have any symptoms at all for many years. An HIV antibody test has been available since 1985. This test was originally licensed for the purpose of screening blood donations, but is now available at various sites for testing persons concerned they may have been exposed to HIV.
The following may be warning signs of infection with HIV:
rapid weight loss dry cough recurring fever or profuse night sweats profound and unexplained fatigue swollen lymph glands in the armpits, groin, or neck diarrhea that lasts for more than a week white spots or unusual blemishes on the tongue, in the mouth, or in the throat pneumonia red, brown, pink, or purplish blotches on or under the skin or inside the mouth, nose, or eyelids memory loss, depression, and other neurological disorders
However, no one should assume they are infected if they have any of these symptoms. Each of these symptoms can be related to other illnesses. Again, the only way to determine whether you are infected is to be tested for HIV infection.
Similarly, you cannot rely on symptoms to establish that a person has AIDS. The symptoms of AIDS are similar to the symptoms of many other illnesses. AIDS is a medical diagnosis made by a doctor based on specific criteria established by the CDC.
(human immunodeficiency virus) is the virus that causes AIDS. This virus is passed from one person to another through blood-to-blood and sexual contact. In addition, infected pregnant women can pass HIV to their baby during pregnancy or delivery, as well as through breast-feeding. People with HIV have what is called HIV infection. Most of these people will develop AIDS as a result of their HIV infection.
What is AIDS? What causes AIDS?
AIDS stands for acquired immunodeficiency syndrome. An HIV-infected person receives a diagnosis of AIDS after developing one of the CDC-defined AIDS indicator illnesses, (opportunistic infection.) An HIV-positive person who has not had any serious illnesses also can receive an AIDS diagnosis on the basis of certain blood tests (CD4+ counts). A CD4+ count of less than 200 indicates a severely damaged immune system and an AIDS diagnosis.
A positive HIV test result does not mean that a person has AIDS. A diagnosis of AIDS is made by a physician using certain clinical criteria.
Infection with HIV can weaken the immune system to the point that it has difficulty fighting off certain infections. These types of infections are known as "opportunistic" infections because they take the opportunity a weakened immune system gives to cause illness.
Many of the infections that cause problems or may be life threatening for people with AIDS, are usually controlled by a healthy immune system. The immune system of a person with AIDS is weakened to the point that medical intervention may be necessary to prevent or treat serious illness.
Today there are medical treatments that can slow down the rate at which HIV weakens the immune system. There are other treatments that can prevent or cure some of the illnesses associated with AIDS. As with other diseases, early detection offers more options for treatment and preventative care.
Also, once a person is diagnosed with AIDS, they will always be considered to have AIDS, regardless of clinical changes later on. For example, if a person has HIV and a CD4 count below 200, they are considered to have AIDS. If their CD4 count later goes back to above 200, they are still considered to have AIDS.
How can I tell if I'm infected with HIV? What are the symptoms?
The only way to determine for sure whether you are infected is to be tested for HIV infection. You cannot rely on symptoms to know whether or not you are infected with HIV. Many people who are infected with HIV do not have any symptoms at all for many years. An HIV antibody test has been available since 1985. This test was originally licensed for the purpose of screening blood donations, but is now available at various sites for testing persons concerned they may have been exposed to HIV.
The following may be warning signs of infection with HIV:
rapid weight loss dry cough recurring fever or profuse night sweats profound and unexplained fatigue swollen lymph glands in the armpits, groin, or neck diarrhea that lasts for more than a week white spots or unusual blemishes on the tongue, in the mouth, or in the throat pneumonia red, brown, pink, or purplish blotches on or under the skin or inside the mouth, nose, or eyelids memory loss, depression, and other neurological disorders
However, no one should assume they are infected if they have any of these symptoms. Each of these symptoms can be related to other illnesses. Again, the only way to determine whether you are infected is to be tested for HIV infection.
Similarly, you cannot rely on symptoms to establish that a person has AIDS. The symptoms of AIDS are similar to the symptoms of many other illnesses. AIDS is a medical diagnosis made by a doctor based on specific criteria established by the CDC.
love you shineth!
i remember planting dreams with you. Chasing wishes, watching flowers. But what i remeber best is how you always made me laugh, even when the world around us was falling apart.
All these years, walking the solitary paths where i found and lost myself a thousand times, I never felt alone because you were in my memory. You were there. And I will always stand by you.
go outside now and walk away. Find one of those roads again somewhere. in the quiet shade of gentle trees. Take this card and hug your shadow and love yourself and remeber these things:
There is nothing in the world thats worth giving up what you've already achieved. You will always be a fighter and a dreamer. Now more than ever, you've got to look deep within your heart - and believe.
-ashely rice
All these years, walking the solitary paths where i found and lost myself a thousand times, I never felt alone because you were in my memory. You were there. And I will always stand by you.
go outside now and walk away. Find one of those roads again somewhere. in the quiet shade of gentle trees. Take this card and hug your shadow and love yourself and remeber these things:
There is nothing in the world thats worth giving up what you've already achieved. You will always be a fighter and a dreamer. Now more than ever, you've got to look deep within your heart - and believe.
-ashely rice
Saturday, July 15, 2006
laugh your heart out.
i needed to reminded that laughter is the best medicine (most of the times)
TheJapaneseAreCrazy (dot com)
TheJapaneseAreCrazy (dot com)
Thursday, July 13, 2006
Wednesday, July 12, 2006
landing
after 30 minutes of circling the air we finally landed. i was oblivious to evrything. right before the aircraft started shaking i turned on my ipod and listening to united. i figured, why would i worry myself with whats happening when i know there are things yet to be done. so while everybody was sweating from the air pocket, (btw this were serious air pocket...ive had my share of turbulence but this surely topped the charts) i was chillin.
sing:
sing:
Found love beyond all reason
You gave Your life Your all for me
And called me Yours forever
Caught in the mercy fallout
I found hope found life
Found all I need
You're all I need
The time has come
To stand for all we believe in
So I for one am gonna
Give my praise to You
Today today it's all or nothing
All they way
The praise goes out to You
Yeah all the praise goes out to You
Today today I live for one thing
To give You praise
In everything I do
Yeah all the praise goes out to You
All we are is Yours
And all we're living for
Is all You are
Is all that You are Lord
You gave Your life Your all for me
And called me Yours forever
Caught in the mercy fallout
I found hope found life
Found all I need
You're all I need
The time has come
To stand for all we believe in
So I for one am gonna
Give my praise to You
Today today it's all or nothing
All they way
The praise goes out to You
Yeah all the praise goes out to You
Today today I live for one thing
To give You praise
In everything I do
Yeah all the praise goes out to You
All we are is Yours
And all we're living for
Is all You are
Is all that You are Lord
Tuesday, July 11, 2006
see yah soon, sydney
farewell and goodbyes are just around the corner. i am not new to this feeling since i travelled a lot. and when i am not, farewells and goodbyes find their way to me. my family have hosted so many people traveling here and there that my life has been accentuated and highlighted with so much HIs and HELLOs and FAREWELLs and GOODBYEs.
by this time you think i would have developed immunity from this feeling. but im surprised to realized that i have not. there is this sinking feeling inside me as each second pass. something in me yearns to savour each passing moment as if it were my last. well yeah! technically this is my last here in sydney. but i am taking it in with the thought of reminsicing on it soon.
15 days flew by so fast. so many experience and insights have flooded my system in the last couple of days. but as i pack my stuff and prepare to leave i cant deny being overwhelmed with so much emotions.
i have gained yet another perspective in life. i am seing it in a totally different way while rethinking what i have thought it was for so long. i am not too ready to let go of my past yet not to reluctant to not try new things. i reckon this is what they call growing old.
something inside me tells me this is not the last time ill be here. so there wouldnt be any farewells and goodbyes instead "see yah soon, sydney."
by this time you think i would have developed immunity from this feeling. but im surprised to realized that i have not. there is this sinking feeling inside me as each second pass. something in me yearns to savour each passing moment as if it were my last. well yeah! technically this is my last here in sydney. but i am taking it in with the thought of reminsicing on it soon.
15 days flew by so fast. so many experience and insights have flooded my system in the last couple of days. but as i pack my stuff and prepare to leave i cant deny being overwhelmed with so much emotions.
i have gained yet another perspective in life. i am seing it in a totally different way while rethinking what i have thought it was for so long. i am not too ready to let go of my past yet not to reluctant to not try new things. i reckon this is what they call growing old.
something inside me tells me this is not the last time ill be here. so there wouldnt be any farewells and goodbyes instead "see yah soon, sydney."
Saturday, July 08, 2006
worn out shoes
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walking makes sense. dressing up too. i just wish i had more money to spend.***check out my pic journal for more.
Friday, July 07, 2006
investment: preview
investments. i never imagine that it takes so much more to really invest on something. okay, lets say i gained perspective. somehow i always do when im out of the country. but i was not prepared for it this time.
april last year i voted to join my dad on his US tour. partly because i grew tired of my routine at work and of course mainly my dad has been bugging me to go for several years that i literally run out of excuses.
what came after that trip, although not expected, was long overdue. seing the world outside the four corners of my pod (what we call our station back at parlance, previous work) was enough to make me resign. there was more to life than making pldt rich and getting the compensation. outside that office lies endless potential. i can reach for the starts. and now im realizing more and more that is do-able.
but like most things it doesnt come off cheap. there is a price to pay. a certain trade off. one that not everyone is willing to pay. heck even i wasnt really into it. but like what i said earlier i gained perspective. for me to inch myself to my destiny i have to learn this. and yeah i am happy that i am, dont get me wrong. i am thrilled at the idea of doing something more than i thought i can.
whan i was about 11300feet off the ground i told myself that i will be open to new things. i will not let myself, my old self that is, to get in the way of getting them most out of this trip. and i have. one thing i am learning right now is setting your priority and working your way towards that which will make your destiny a reality. (wah heavy concepts...need to explain. maybe sometime soon.)
i a nutshell: i am leaning to set aside my materialism. im dying to myself as i write.
april last year i voted to join my dad on his US tour. partly because i grew tired of my routine at work and of course mainly my dad has been bugging me to go for several years that i literally run out of excuses.
what came after that trip, although not expected, was long overdue. seing the world outside the four corners of my pod (what we call our station back at parlance, previous work) was enough to make me resign. there was more to life than making pldt rich and getting the compensation. outside that office lies endless potential. i can reach for the starts. and now im realizing more and more that is do-able.
but like most things it doesnt come off cheap. there is a price to pay. a certain trade off. one that not everyone is willing to pay. heck even i wasnt really into it. but like what i said earlier i gained perspective. for me to inch myself to my destiny i have to learn this. and yeah i am happy that i am, dont get me wrong. i am thrilled at the idea of doing something more than i thought i can.
whan i was about 11300feet off the ground i told myself that i will be open to new things. i will not let myself, my old self that is, to get in the way of getting them most out of this trip. and i have. one thing i am learning right now is setting your priority and working your way towards that which will make your destiny a reality. (wah heavy concepts...need to explain. maybe sometime soon.)
i a nutshell: i am leaning to set aside my materialism. im dying to myself as i write.
Wednesday, July 05, 2006
zapped
ive been here for four days and im enjoying it. conference was amazing. there are so many insights and revelation. i think im getting to know myself more in the last couple of days than in a couple of years trying to define it.
im getting addicted to this feeling. as a matter of fact so addictied that i think ill enroll and study here for a year or two.
something in me is brewing and i think, maybe, that it will soon unveil itself. ill miss this so cold weather when i fly back on the 12th. the frenzy and the hype is just too much. its like going to disneyland. except this time instead of lining for rides and attraction you get to hear good and motivational speakers. and so far they have.
its not that im all out yeah this is so right. im trying to see and weuight things myself. and the more i do the clearer the image is to me. ah satisfaction na ba ito? lets see.
Australia! ang saya mow. (one thing i noticed. i feel like ive been zapped right into the 80s. everyone looks like cyndy-lauper. and the guys!. oh mah gawd. baston!!!) Is rock the national theme here???
im getting addicted to this feeling. as a matter of fact so addictied that i think ill enroll and study here for a year or two.
something in me is brewing and i think, maybe, that it will soon unveil itself. ill miss this so cold weather when i fly back on the 12th. the frenzy and the hype is just too much. its like going to disneyland. except this time instead of lining for rides and attraction you get to hear good and motivational speakers. and so far they have.
its not that im all out yeah this is so right. im trying to see and weuight things myself. and the more i do the clearer the image is to me. ah satisfaction na ba ito? lets see.
Australia! ang saya mow. (one thing i noticed. i feel like ive been zapped right into the 80s. everyone looks like cyndy-lauper. and the guys!. oh mah gawd. baston!!!) Is rock the national theme here???
Sunday, July 02, 2006
sunday at the HILLS
so finally i was there standing and eagerly waiting for the service to start. i cant believe myself. if i remembered i would have pinched myself to try to see if i was dreaming. but i know i wasnt. i was at the hills.
its not that we were not able to attend the saturday night service. it was great. a ukrainian guy spoke and he was so powerful. the entire service was brief but surely not less powerful. the message was so clear that it feels like it just popped out for no where and hit you so hard that you have a hard time keeping yourself steady. i was impacted.
there are so many things that i learned, and take not am still learning. for one i wanna put all my inhibitions down and just enjoy every exhilirating moment. that goes for the entire trip and not just that pivotal moment. yeah i used the word pivotal. my life is again transformed. there are so many things to ponder and think about all wrapped up in that single moment. now, imagine ive been here fopr two days now.
the songs were just magnificient. its just like evry bit of expectation i have and more. opps wait, so much more. saturday, i cried. ask me why? because i realized that we share the same God. the possibiolity is just limitless. earlier i was almost in tears. why? because i can see our House. i can see beyond what normal eyes can see and i thank Him for that.
its really an awakening. its just like i was so deep inslumber and i was jolted. yeah the operatiove word jolted awake. its so clear and so tangible. there my friend is faith. i can feel it already. the next years would be so marvelous and powerful it just makes me very interested to see His move.
a promise. before the gathering ended i asked myself. actually i wrote it on my notes. temptation: "why am i not part of this wonderful House?" and right after i wrote that something inside me snapped. not the insane snap but the snap that just makes you wanna say WOAH! i wrote: because what i have for you is something bigger, something that an ordinary member cannot and will ever be able to contain. there. that made my evening.
thats the night at the hills. God! i still have 10 days here. thats about two more sunday events. 5 nightly events for the coming conference week, and another four wonderful day sessions.
***oh thanks God our host has internet. wahahahahahahah. (oh btw, my 3g is working here...)
its not that we were not able to attend the saturday night service. it was great. a ukrainian guy spoke and he was so powerful. the entire service was brief but surely not less powerful. the message was so clear that it feels like it just popped out for no where and hit you so hard that you have a hard time keeping yourself steady. i was impacted.
there are so many things that i learned, and take not am still learning. for one i wanna put all my inhibitions down and just enjoy every exhilirating moment. that goes for the entire trip and not just that pivotal moment. yeah i used the word pivotal. my life is again transformed. there are so many things to ponder and think about all wrapped up in that single moment. now, imagine ive been here fopr two days now.
the songs were just magnificient. its just like evry bit of expectation i have and more. opps wait, so much more. saturday, i cried. ask me why? because i realized that we share the same God. the possibiolity is just limitless. earlier i was almost in tears. why? because i can see our House. i can see beyond what normal eyes can see and i thank Him for that.
its really an awakening. its just like i was so deep inslumber and i was jolted. yeah the operatiove word jolted awake. its so clear and so tangible. there my friend is faith. i can feel it already. the next years would be so marvelous and powerful it just makes me very interested to see His move.
a promise. before the gathering ended i asked myself. actually i wrote it on my notes. temptation: "why am i not part of this wonderful House?" and right after i wrote that something inside me snapped. not the insane snap but the snap that just makes you wanna say WOAH! i wrote: because what i have for you is something bigger, something that an ordinary member cannot and will ever be able to contain. there. that made my evening.
thats the night at the hills. God! i still have 10 days here. thats about two more sunday events. 5 nightly events for the coming conference week, and another four wonderful day sessions.
***oh thanks God our host has internet. wahahahahahahah. (oh btw, my 3g is working here...)
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