another day

dang... why does this have to happen to me? why do I have to experience first hand how to be a bitch. I dont want this. I am not like this. I am NOT.

Again

I am LOST without you. but if IM driving you nutz, what AM I to do? I'll regret this for sure. I KNOW. i have to bear the pain because i hurt you. I DESERVE it, i know. I hate all the others that went before you. They sucked every last bit of love i have to give. All i am is a selfish prick too blind to see the person so generous and loving standing before me. I am too dumb. And I should be punished. It is just right to be. BUT it would be unfair to say that I DIDNT love you. but even that i am deprived to say. I am sorry. I wish I could change. I WISH I am different. I wish I am bot so FUCKED UP. I love you AL. you are the reason why i am HAPPY. but i guess IM too SELFISH. I drove you away. Now all i am IS LOST. Again.