What is Holding Me Back?

my dad has always told me to be wary of my association for they might be holding me back from fulfilling my destiny. (mental note: blog about this someday...) i havent really given much thought about it until earlier while i was in transit on board asian spirit flight 6K546. i thought, "why was i so eager to go back?" if my parents and my place is in the province, who am i going back to manila for?

"its an interesting thought," i told myself while i dozed off. i was hoping that by the time i woke up, the idea would have been blown away. but i was wrong, it was there like a road block sign staring me right in the face. for the duration of the flight, till my plane landed i was trying to find an answer to that nagging question.

so, i did a mental enumeration of the people, friends, and associations that i have. i also made a list of the things that these people have done for me, the things that i can do for them, things that can be shared, things that will not be shared, things that are worth sharing, and things that are not, things that are skin deep, things that are important, things that are temporary, things that would mean something, things that are worthwhile, and things that are not.

i tried to see if most of these relations can withstand the test of time or they are just temporal. i tried to see if most of these bonds are worth keeping and risking somethin that i feel in my guts i am meant for. in other words i was trying to see if these relations have eternal value - if they would even mean a thing to me in the next ten years.

its a very interesting thought to ponder on. granted that friendships and associations die a natural death, what is holding me back??? if the bonds that i have with these people are genuine and true it will stand the test of time and distance. i dont have to worry. it wouldnt matter if i am in the moon right now. would it? i dont think so...