in the absence of an explanation you ask yourself "why?" you try to make sense of everything. you helplessly try to pick yourself up from the shattering and devastating truth that it has passed.
its easy to lose yourself from all the questioning. it is as if you get lost and forget that you were born for a reason other than that of searching for the meaning of life, coping, moving on, existing, again . yeah, its easy to stop living in the present. you find yourself encamped in a place that merely exist in the past - a beautiful moment in time where everything seemed perfect. the beauty of the memory, as your forced to cling on, shadows the fact that the world has moved on since then...the fatal separation - the cause of an emotional hybernation. you close yourself to the world. you see nothing but the crystalized past.
the world doesnt make sense. you cant breathe...you cant smile...you cant be happy for the sunrise...you cant be thankful for another day...you cant see the meaning of living. the only thing that makes sense is the questions, the nagging itching question why it had to be.
you become enthralled with the illusion that it will materialize. you dream so hard to have the past again. you force yourself to believe in the impossible trying to negotiate in your innermost being that there is a chance. a chance of again! but it will never come. so you become dead to everything that matters. you are now a being driven to survive only to dream...to ask...to search for answer that was not given. it was witheld to you because it was deemed humane. the truth was denied because it is hard...even hard to accept because it meant the dissolution of everything that you are now holding on. there must be a reason... yes there is.
are you prepared to hear? are you ready to hear the devastating truth that it was something so silly as the basics of the relationship? are you ready to face the ugly truth that it is compatability?
its your fault! you believed the word. it was uttered a million times that you were driven to think, conditioned, that it was true. LOVE! was it? maybe it is true... yeah i want to believe it was true. but why did it die? again you question. maybe its easier to bare the endless questions. for the truth maybe darker than the psuedo reality that you are now dwelling on.
in the absence of an explanation your left with nothing but your alternate universe.
its easy to lose yourself from all the questioning. it is as if you get lost and forget that you were born for a reason other than that of searching for the meaning of life, coping, moving on, existing, again . yeah, its easy to stop living in the present. you find yourself encamped in a place that merely exist in the past - a beautiful moment in time where everything seemed perfect. the beauty of the memory, as your forced to cling on, shadows the fact that the world has moved on since then...the fatal separation - the cause of an emotional hybernation. you close yourself to the world. you see nothing but the crystalized past.
the world doesnt make sense. you cant breathe...you cant smile...you cant be happy for the sunrise...you cant be thankful for another day...you cant see the meaning of living. the only thing that makes sense is the questions, the nagging itching question why it had to be.
you become enthralled with the illusion that it will materialize. you dream so hard to have the past again. you force yourself to believe in the impossible trying to negotiate in your innermost being that there is a chance. a chance of again! but it will never come. so you become dead to everything that matters. you are now a being driven to survive only to dream...to ask...to search for answer that was not given. it was witheld to you because it was deemed humane. the truth was denied because it is hard...even hard to accept because it meant the dissolution of everything that you are now holding on. there must be a reason... yes there is.
are you prepared to hear? are you ready to hear the devastating truth that it was something so silly as the basics of the relationship? are you ready to face the ugly truth that it is compatability?
its your fault! you believed the word. it was uttered a million times that you were driven to think, conditioned, that it was true. LOVE! was it? maybe it is true... yeah i want to believe it was true. but why did it die? again you question. maybe its easier to bare the endless questions. for the truth maybe darker than the psuedo reality that you are now dwelling on.
in the absence of an explanation your left with nothing but your alternate universe.
5 comments:
now this is what i call a gus reality. haha. yabang ng comment mo sa blog ko.
anyways, as albert camus puts it the world, and human reality for that matter, is absurd. he claims that there
remains a recurring tension between what we want and the universe (be it order, meaning or reasons) and what we find in it (chaos). According to him, the presence of such prompts us to find meaning through a leap of faith to a God beyond this world, or to conclude that life is meaningless.
hahaha... i see that youve read my blog already. m gawd, i just posted not more than two hours ago. i wish it was that easy. but the reality i have, or chose to dwell on for that matter, is one that i visit every now and then. i dont always dwell on it. safe to say i visit it every ones in a while to learn from the past's bitter teaching hoping that i would learn its lesson and wisen up...
commenting on the "leap of faith to a God," i believe that when all other means to find a reason why we exist has been exhausted, we turn to the one true thing that man is so eager to disprove, GOD. hay buhay nga naman...
hope you have a good day...
by the way... why did you remove the two other comments?
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