Psychology Of Letting Go

Why is it hard to let go of someone even when they obviously have? Why is it a task to hard to execute when we all, one way or the other, let go of someone?

I was out with friends earlier and we got to talk about life, love, and ex-GVs (GV, a thing we call our flings that sometimes bordered a psuedo/mock-relationship). Its was not really obvious but hidden underneath a thin layer of sarcasm and self denial I felt pain and a distinct need for closure. A closure that does not come from the fallen beloved but for oneself.

We all have gone through failed, sour, and bitter-sweet relationships. The notion of letting go of someone is not foreign to me. I myself must admit, only to be save from being called a hypocrite, that i have given up and let-go. The sick-sad realization though is that sometimes its hard to let-go especially if your at the losing end.

If your that person, which I always find myself to be, you tend to hold on to the ebbing idea of a mutual attraction and sometimes, if your deluded enough, love. You cling to it like a lifeline in the middle of a gushing current - an emotional tsunami raging forward, wrecking your now alternate universe where you still see a happy couple, a distant semblace of what you and your ex used to be.

I asked myself, "why is it so hard to let-go and eventually move-on, when I know for a fact how it is to be on the receiving end of someone incessantly pursuing a futile endeavor, reviving a dying if not an already dead emotion, in the hopes of rekindling the fire that ones burned?" Why would it be so hard to accept defeat when you know how it is to be relieved of a burden caused by a love that has died? Asked now what to choose, its easy to say "to let-go." . But when your down there, in the pits of hopeful despair, in the dungeons of delusional rationale, everything seems possible. You go on hoping... waiting... expecting... until you wake up one day with the truth. Its lost.

I guess its hard to let-go because aside from the heart another vital part of our human-ness gets beaten up and marooned, our ego! Accepting the undeniable truth that attraction fades, love dies, and that there is someone better hurts us more because it leaves a nagging question - Was I not enough!? The truth is no one will ever be enough. There will always be someone prettier, someone better, knowing and accepting that makes it easier to let-go and eventually move on.